By Shehu Uthman
Where favour, assistance or any sort of generosity is shown out of kindness, gratitude is the least expected gesture that marks appreciation. In other words, the art of giving without hoping for anything in return is a mutual investment that strengthens bonds and retains the social value of respect and dignity. Thus, the all saying: “Never bite a finger that feeds you” a statement that carries wisdom in itself.
So, as I reflect on the thought of betrayal, sudden forgetfulness and ungrateful behavioural patterns, I was deeply disturbed wondering what does it takes to acknowledge sacrifice that often comes from parents, guardians, role models and mentors whom we look up to.
Then I would ask myself again: why do we forget those who taught us to speak with confidence, to write with clarity, and to think with wisdom? Why should we hold grudges against people who once helped several times, simply because they wronged us once?
Perhaps we all need to pause, take a breath, and reflect. We need to speak about the righteousness of those we have crossed paths with, rather than harbouring vengeance for the wrong they might have done to us.
As students, let us ask ourselves honest questions. How many people have helped you financially, academically, or morally? How many people taught you a course you found difficult to understand? How many people offered you pieces of advice on how to excel in your career or pursue valuable skills outside the classroom? Whether in writing, public speaking, poetry, or leadership?
Well, the central point is: never forget those who assisted you. And not only that, forgive those who offended you, while deliberately recalling the good deeds and kind gestures they once showed you. Do not let one bitter moment erase a thousand sweet ones.
To my fellow campus journalists, if I could ask, what are your plans for your editors and mentors who taught you how to wield your pen and express your feelings to the world? They made you the voice of the voiceless. They laboured over your write ups, corrected your grammar, and showed you how to earn a byline that brought you recognition—not just across campus, but across the nation and even beyond its borders. When was the last time you thanked them? When was the last time you checked on them?
To our campus debaters and poets, I ask the same: when did you last call or message your mentors who taught you how to speak with confidence, convince your audience, and revolutionise people's minds by telling them what they need to hear—not just what they want to hear? Those mentors invested their time, their energy, and their passion in you. What have you given back?
Equally, let us not stop there! What about your uncle, your aunt, your friend, or your teacher who always calls you frequently just to check on you and perhaps sends you a little token or recharge card when you are struggling? Speaking ill of these kinds of people or insulting them because they offended you once, while forgetting all the good they have done for you over the years, is not only toxic to your wellbeing but also reflects a lack of interpersonal skills and deficient reasoning. It shows that you do not truly value people.
Actually, the very least you can do for those who showed you the way when you were in need is to pray for them. At the very minimum, invoke goodness upon them in your prayers and never hesitate to help them when they need you because no one is an island.
Whether we like it or not, in one way or another, we all need help and support from one another. So, if you make it in life one day or if you rise, succeed and if your name becomes known, reward your helpers. Support even those who did not directly contribute to your excellence. But never, ever entertain the bad notion of neglecting those who impacted you with skills and knowledge. Neither forget nor bite the hands that fed you.
Moreover, to our religious teachers, our sheikhs, our alfas and our malams—who taught us how to recite the Qur'an melodiously with Tajweed, who taught us Tawheed and other sacred texts, who brought us closer to our Lord and showed us the way to paradise without us paying a single penny, what are we compensating them with? The very least you can do is to pray for them constantly and sincerely. Because their reward is with Allah, but your gratitude is your duty.
In all ramifications, we must think positively and promote goodness among ourselves as patriotic citizens. I am always surprised to see some arrogant students misbehaving in front of their mentors and seniors—those from whom they learned one thing or another. Did they not know that they cannot be smarter than their masters? Did they not know that every drop of blood is red, and no amount of pride changes where you came from?
You do not disrespect people who stood by you and supported you when you were nothing. Now that you are a big gun, you still remain their mentee whether you like it or not. However, that reality has come to stay forever. On this note, our lecturers at various departments must also be treated with due respect, because they impacted our lives and taught us what we did not know. They gave us knowledge, and knowledge is light.
That is all I have to say and I truly believe that if you stick to this piece of advice, if you live by gratitude, if you honour your helpers, if you forgive and always remember the good—your life will change for good. Not just for you, but for everyone around you.